I will call it a hospital layover as we attempt to fall asleep with all of the lights, beeps, nurses, and moans from precious Henry. We are in Vanderbilt hospital.

Not to mention it will be his birthday when we wake up.

He had a pharyngeal flap repair surgery.

When a child has their first cleft palate surgery we have learned that 30% of patients will require a pharyngeal repair. (I had desperately hoped that we would make the 70% list but….) When everything is in place in the back our throats as is for most of us then it is one reason we are able to speak clearly. When it ISN’T in place, like Henry, there is more air coming through the nose plus speech is impaired.

So here we are as I write. My mother’s heart is aching as I lay beside our precious son. He isn’t sure why he is suffering but I am praying that he will not be afraid and that he will trust us in this challenge. Also hopeful that it will deepen our relationship with him as we walk through this season.

I have gently moved him over as I slide into the hospital bed with him for the night. He is trying to get comfortable with me cuddling him the best I can before the nurses begin to make their rotations throughout the night.

A few blocks away, Blake who has just left us here at the hospital is with our precious oldest child. As Alexandra crawls into bed she is packed and ready for her next adventure with a Christian ministry called YWAM. She will be gone for 6 months and won’t make it home this year for the holidays.

Our youngest and our oldest. Each facing a new season.

Me- well I am learning just a little more deeply the sacrificial love of a mother.

Alexandra- To raise and release.

Henry – To receive and restore.

I am grieving, but I am not grieving without hope. I have a God who promises to be with me every moment. Just as he promised Jacob in Genesis 28:15 “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go…” not to mention the comforting words of Jesus in Matthew 28:20, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

So as Henry has a LAYOVER at the hospital we are LAUNCHING Alexandra. God knew the timing long before we did.

I will try to rest in that as I lay my head down, tears falling, next to a son that is a privilege to care for. All while I process in my heart and mind a good bye for our big girl that seems like yesterday I was curled up next to her little girl self. 🌟