Frozen Chocolate Bananas, Monkeys, and Sufjan Stevens

I woke up to a beautiful sunrise. The weather is unseasonably warm for Dodge City, KS. What a gift! Being outside is a calming place to bring down anxiety considering the situation.

I spent the morning in the lobby of our hotel. I was up early reading my Bible, journaling, reading a few texts from a couple of friends and family, and honestly crying a lot. Knowing the change that is about to occur in this little ones life is heavy.

The greatest surprise in our last adoption was how much I would carry our child’s sorrow. And today is no different.

Day 2 of transitioning is that we spend a longer amount of time with him. And this is the day that the adopted parents leave us with him for an extended time.

We met at the same place as yesterday. It is beyond me that our hotel has a city zoo and a huge playground in the back of the parking lot.

What a gift!!

Connecting is the goal of the day. He received us both so well but prefers Blake. 😁

At one point I pulled out a chapstick from my pocket. He didn’t know what it was, but I showed him and then offered him some. He let me put it on him and oh that moment was so endearing. As a mom to children that already trust me, this is so tricky as I enter into earning his trust and closeness.

We then went to a wonderful Mexican dive that is also across our parking lot for a snack of frozen chocolate bananas and homemade chips.

Just getting to know each other one small step at at a time.

•What do you like to eat little one?

•What makes you sad?

•How can we laugh together?

•Can we be a soft place for you to land?

We then headed over to our room for a time of rest, looking at scrapbooks of our family/home, and reading books.

After dinner, we headed out on a long stretch of pitch dark Kansas highway to take him home.

Blake turned on some Sufjan Stevens and while “We’re Going to the Country” played I reached my hand back into his car seat. I expected him to push it away (I have zero expectations from him but want to offer him chances to receive touch).

But instead he nestled his little hand into mine. Those were the perhaps the sweetest 22 miles of my life. As tears streamed down my face, I was so glad for darkness to shield him from seeing my emotion at the time. Prayers silently lifted for every inch of his body. Asking God to be of great comfort for what is coming and to heal him from his pain.

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