“Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for him to act …. Don’t fret and worry — it only leads to harm.” (Psalm 37:7-8)
A few of the kids and I were getting some groceries the other day and as we were walking down the cookie aisle, I was reminded of a low moment I had experienced last fall doing paperwork for baby Theodore’s adoption.
Lets just say some things didn’t go as planned in regards to getting some documents to the Chinese government. Now, I really prefer things to go “as planned”!! but I actually don’t remember the last time my day went exactly as planned 😂. In this case I discovered that I needed to go back and redo some of the papers for our dossier.
I have confessed before that I am TERRIBLE at paperwork (reminder that I am the girl that stood at the Los Angeles airline ticket counter, en route to China, when I realized I didn’t get our Visas!) I barely survived completing the dossier paperwork the first time, and now I got word that we had to do some of the time consuming documents again.
During that time I left early one morning to exercise and to get a few groceries, and on the way there I remember crying and complaining to myself. “Will this ever be DONE and will we be able to get our son into our arms?”
Adoption paperwork is an interesting thing. It has to get done or you won’t get your child. And as a Christian adopting mom I also was wrestling with trusting God that He already knows the very moment in which he would be ushered into our arms. So each day I had to decide what had to get done and to rest in what I was not capable of controlling or able to get done. The “resting” part was a HUGE struggle but it was one of the many ways for the Lord to mature me. While the paperwork was critical, so were the needs of our other children, schooling them, and making time for our marriage.
Back to my low season: the drive from the gym to the grocery was ALSO filled with tears and crying out to God. I managed to dry up my face before heading inside, and then as the shopping began, I saw these little babies calling my name!
On the short drive home, I reached into the bag just as I hit the gravel road a mile from home and had a pinwheel cookie before I pulled into our long driveway. Then I hustled inside and hid the whole bag in my silver ice bucket that I use for entertaining and is stored in the pantry.
And that my friends is my little secret…
At least until this blog post.
I can recall motivating myself to finish a stack of paperwork with the promise of another Pinwheel when I was done. I would simply go into our pantry, shut the door behind me, and bite into a marshmallowy, chocolatey, crunchy, cookie. Reward time! Mmmmmmm delicious!
As painful as it was to wait, I am thankful for God’s timing of getting our son. He entered our arms on the day God prepared in advance.
I just may have eaten fewer cookies had it been sooner rather than later. 💚